During my spells when my bipolar disorder hit the hardest, I worked out a lot to keep my anxiety at bay by boosting my endorphin levels and keep my confidence up1. I felt great about myself most days, and when the downward spiral came, the muscle soreness was a welcomed pain to keep me distracted. In my mind, the physical pain had a cause, and it was better than a pain inside of me that had no reason.
I was going through a tough time in my social life, my relationships, my family life and even at work. It was never because of the external factors that I was going through these depression spells, but the way I viewed myself, the expectations I gave myself, and the disappointment of how I live daily became a reason to hate myself. In the same train of thought, if I couldn't love myself, how could others love me? I stopped believing I was worth loving. They deserved someone who wasn't a waste of space.
I googled steps to overcome my anxiety and depression, other than taking my medication, exercising, and changing my diet helped me the best. A diet of grains, protein, omega 3 fats, higher iron intake and some vitamins, I was doing better. Then it was up to determination to keep me working out. As I worked out, I got leaner, toner and I had better confidence. I went from Pilates to Yoga and it helped to have moments of meditation to keep my anxiety in check. I'd say, it saved me. I have not taken my medication in 2 years now.
When I first met my husband, I was seeing a counselor, but it may have been the last of the sessions (fingers crossed). I have been absolutely happy. My husband has been understanding, and kind. He knows that when I have my anxieties, and panic attacks, he doesn't need to address it or make me get over it. At that time we were in a long distance relationship, he would talk on the phone with me, tell me what he is doing, distract my thoughts till it passes.
After I got pregnant and had a little scare, I have not exercised since then, and gotten lazy. I think I've been happy and it has given me too many excuses now. Well, since my husband is here and I get free gym benefits because of him, might as well make use of it, right? Little Peanut came with the other day too. So he was there watching us till he got bored, then I did some workouts holding him and some Mommy Yoga.
I want to live long enough to see my little baby grown and happy.
I want to live healthy and happy.
I am healthy and happy.
- Diseases and Conditions: Depression (major depressive disorder)